This year was about gaining new freedoms.
It was also about confronting uncertainty, which seems directly connected with more freedom.
You can do more, but it's less clear what the consequences will be. You surrender control over your life but it means you can't really plan as much and give up on some legibility in the eyes of others.
This year, I want to continue expanding my freedoms:
The freedom to feel pleasure in my body
The freedom to express myself without self-doubt
The freedom to name my hurt and my love and my anger and my gratitude
The freedom to offer things to the world without worrying about what people will think of me (or ultimately, what I'm going to think of me)
The freedom to feel like I can keep my heart open most of the time and that I don't need to hide or close myself to not get hurt
The freedom to talk about things I really care about without fear that if someone else rejects it, I am going to abandon it too
On the side of uncertainty, I am yearning for more predictability in a few areas.
I want to have a routine with writing and intuitive movement because it helps me be in flow with myself and my ideas.
I also want to have the closest circle of people near me, not scattered around the world. I want to have at least 5 people who are close to me within a 1-hour distance from where I live so that I can feel inspired and supported by my community on the daily, not something I need to travel to other countries for. It's not very sustainable and frankly, it sucks.
I also want to have more certainty around money. I have given up my job and regular income this year and it's been awesome to not have to worry about making money and just frugally live off my savings.
But this year I want to start making money again so that I can invest in my community and my own growth. I want to build things and I need some capital.
2023 was very expansive when it comes to relationships. I have met 25 new amazing people who I now call friends and I have also deepened my relationship with my partner, my family, and myself.
In 2024 I want to invest in a few key relationships, which would ideally look like moving into a shared house with them in the Bay Area or London and experimenting with creating a co-living culture that really works for us.
And for this house to become a place where we can host events and invite people in to taste how we relate to each other.
I am also exploring creative collaborations with a few friends right now and that feels like another way to create new depth in relationships that matter to me.
Finally, this year I got clearer on what feels like my current purpose: I want to create beautiful, generative spaces where people can come together to figure things out in community.
I'm planning to start by hosting an in-person women's circle on anger in Berkeley this month and launching an experimental women's group online. I am also hoping to publish more content about the concept of relational rigor and I'm feeling called to lean into using my voice more and record hosted conversations with interesting people.
I feel grateful for your support this past year. Knowing that you are here and you’re reading what I have to say is helping me gain more confidence in my expression. I hope that you are well, feeling connected and hopeful about this new beginning.
Go Sandra! I can't wait to hear about the magic of the space(s) you create :)